The quality of our relationship depends on the effort we are willing to put into them. No one just lands in a happy and blissful marriage, it takes a little effort. The more willing we are to put our thoughts, prayers and efforts into our marriages, the more fun, lively and fulfilling they will be.
Here are a few ways to put extra thought and energy into making them feel loved.
Hold the criticism and pour out the praise!
OK, it’s true — sometimes you need to vent your frustrations. But, people need praise too — and a lot more of it. Studies show that successful marriages have positive interactions that outweigh the negative by 5 to 1. So, if you absolutely have to complain about something, make sure it’s not all you do. Love and praise your them.
Pray for them
Not just because they need God’s help, but also because prayer helps you too. By taking time each day to pray for your mate, you are training your brain to consider their needs, goals and things that they might be struggling with. Also pray for added inspiration to know how you can best support them as their spouse.
Treat them how you want them to become
This is true in all relationships. Positive reinforcement goes a lot further than complaints. Find ways to compliment your husband and look for the good in him.
Love them, serve them and surprise them
The best marriages are a result of effort and work that is put into them. Put effort into loving your spouse. Plan ahead and leave a cute note for them to find. Treat them to a surprise vacation. Give them tickets to see their favorite sports team or whatever they are interested in. Hide behind the front door and wrap them in a HUGE hug when they gets home. Whatever it is, put your whole heart into it.
Know their language
Sure, flooding their email with heart-felt notes is cute, but if their love language is physical touch, it’s not going to mean as much. Figure out what their love language is- words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts.
To love them effectively, you need to know what makes them tick. Sometimes we love others the way that we like to be loved ourselves, and then wonder what went wrong. The best way to show love is to actively try to learn more about them and cater to their needs and preferences as they come up. And yes, they change over time. So have fun, be proactive and go with the flow.